Today, I woke up with a strong sense of gratitude. As I started my day, that feeling stayed with: thankfulness.
First it felt weird, I have to admit it. But I realized that it’s just to own up to it, and confess: I am thankful to Big Alcohol.
Thank you Big Alcohol. So very much.
Without your tireless efforts there would be no fun in the world.
Without your wonderful work, parties would end before they even began.
Without your creative commodities, student life would be about learning stuff. Who wants that?
Thank you Big Alcohol for really taking care of putting alcohol into all the social and cultural events. Who would be able to stand today’s music, or their own family and friends without the little, kind help from you?
Without your awesome advertisements, not a single person would be able to stand watching TV, read the newspapers, browse the internet or walk through the streets. So, thank you Big Alcohol for bringing color into our lives, never mind the sexualization and dehumanizing of women.
Without your caring commitment to profit maximization, children and young people would not be able to enjoy their childhood, and teenage years. After all, adventure originates from bottles and cans, right?
Without your limitless lobbying, politicians wouldn’t be able to do what they are doing…
Thank you Big Alcohol because without your beers, football would not at all be The Beautiful Game. It would hardly be a game.
Thank you Big Alcohol because without your wines, candle light dinners would be nothing but meals where we don’t really see.
Thank you Big Alcohol because without your liquor, gentlemen wouldn’t be men and hipsters would just be dudes with too short pants.
Without your passionate perseverance, people around the world would never know that alcohol is healthy. Imagine such a world – oh no, don’t, I don’t want to scare you.
Without your social responsibility initiatives, I don’t know how the world would look like.
Without your selfless services, our economy would be in shambles – just imagine the police officers, ambulance and emergency room staff and social service employees would be unemployed…
I’m thankful for all that, Big Alcohol. You have given the world something to believe in, and you make damn sure we all continue to believe. That’s dedication.
I wonder with what kind of feeling the employees of Big Alcohol usually wake up with? Mhhh..? Maybe PRIDE. And I wonder what feelings this running-shoes-creative, supersmart and always socially committed nerds from Big Marketing wake up with? Maybe… SATISFACTION. That’s wonderful for them. Of course one is supposed to be proud and satisfied by targeting kids and adolescents to flood their vulnerable brains with a nice drug. Or proud to target women. The most promising customer group of all. And the customer group for developing breast cancer because of the highly carcinogenic alcohol drug. Congrats to them all!! Awesome job! And what else you do after waking up? Yeeeeees, bathroom time. Look into the mirror and give yourself a nice Big Alcohol Smile.